Friday, January 15, 2016

I LOVE My BODY... No Matter What they say....


Like Always... If it could happen to me... It is certainly happening to others. So I share...

My self-esteem and value are not based on any other person.... My body image is mine alone. I am comfortable being naked. I am comfortable having a man look at me... ALL of me.

My weight goes up and down.... I feel sexy and desirable AT EVERY weight.

I will never lose or alter my body for anyone else. I LOVE ME. ALWAYS. I am a Sensual Soul. My fluctuation is about me and my lifestyle. PERIOD. If I shift... It's because of ME. 

When you judge... It only reflects negatives about You.

I am not interested in others opinions... Although people think they should give them. I am ALWAYS ME. I don't change. I won't change for you or anyone else. People that come sit with me or work with me are often surprised... I am the same in public and in private.

I have been given some of the most amazing gifts from men that all women should experience. It's an amazing thing to have a man love to touch every single part of your body at your heaviest weight. To gobble you up and desire you... To authentically rave about your beauty and to make you feel like the most amazing creature on the planet. To caress the parts of your body passionately that others criticize and that you have always felt self conscious... That is an amazing gift and my experience in life.

I don't care what size you are... how thin, fit, curvy.... You should be adored! LOVE where you are at!

Last week I experienced something different... A first for me. A man that I have known for a couple years and that has pursued me... told me that even though I was the most amazing woman that he has ever met AND that we have this amazing connection... He doesn't think that we can be together because even if I lost weight... I would still not be tone and athletic. He could never be attracted physically to a woman that was different than what he had historically dated. Dancers.

Well, even at my most fit state... I have never had that body type, nor will I. I am me. Will always be me. I think that it was selfish and cruel to pursue me knowing this about himself AND even more callous saying those things to me. It is clearly his issue and not mine. What positive could be accomplished by stating that to me? Ego.....

I don't expect everyone to be attracted to me. I am rarely attracted to people. It has to be a certain something. I DO expect to be treated with dignity and respect. What he said and how he said it, told me a lot about him. It didn't change me.

How many of you would have internalized it, looked inside and out for flaws to fix? How many of you would have felt smaller, less than and want to curl up in a ball? Many....

I share this because I have now spoken to several women that have experienced this type of behavior not once, but many times in their lives.... It is just not okay. It isn't shared or spoken because it is cloaked in shame. I REFUSE to feel shame over someone else's issues. He will NOT shame ME! 

Of coarse... come to find out... he has his own body issues about himself. He keeps himself partially covered at all times and wears more clothes than needed because he is having body issues. I was like.. Bring it on... I accept you as you are... I am a loving soul that can make you feel like the most attractive person on the planet... The gracious acceptance was not received or given. I am once again the unwilling mirror for the person sitting across from me.

I have enough of my own shit... I don't need to take on anyone else's! I know my shit. That isn't it....

Join me. Find your inner strength and love yourself. Others will follow.

Loose weight, stay the same, get fit, have surgery... Do what ever feels right for YOU! It is your journey. LOVE Yourself at every stage... No matter where you are or where you are going - LOVE YOURSELF!

I am my heaviest in a long time. I don't have a problem getting a date or the attention of men. I was asked out in the hot tub at a spa... It's how we feel about ourselves.... Don't let other people make you feel bad... 

I am not perfect or strong all of the time. I fall in line sometimes and have been guilty:

  • Avoiding events where I know people that I haven't see in a while will be... I don't want to deal with the comments that are said to me and behind my back (that I clearly still hear).
  • Missing visits with a best friend that makes comments about weight gain and judges everyone based on weight and appearance. It's just ugly and I don't want to deal with it.
  • Ending friendships when I was thinner because the person constantly made negative comments about "FATTY Men" and other ugly things... She felt she could talk that way to me because I wasn't "heavy" at the time.
  • Feeling uncomfortable with my clothes...
  • Having days when I am happier than others....
Are you a perfect wife, husband, mother, parent, business owner, provider? Do you drink, take drugs, smoke, exercise too much, have eating issues, suffer from depression? What else are you able to hide that no one else knows but you? We cannot hide our weight. We wear it on the outside. No hiding.

Until you are living a life of perfection or you are walking my journey. You may not judge..... I am so FRICKIN proud of the person that I am. If you judge me without knowing me... Shame on you. That says oodles about you.

Please don't let anyone take away your pride, value or confidence <3 Expect to be treated with dignity and respect! Don't settle for less... YOU Deserve MORE!

with Gratitude,

Kimberly Reyes
Kimberly Reyes International BLOGS are going to be coming again! FULL FORCE! JOIN ME!

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