Dating & Valentine's DAY - The Dating Dance

This is NOT going to be popular. But, Holiday's are a dating topic.

Looking at the men sitting in my cue.... (I know that sounds terrible....) BUT, Valentine's Day is 9 days away... Many of my friends are keeping men around for V DAY.... I am considering whether I am going to want them around in 14 days... That seems to make me an oddity in the dating world (you know that I am okay with that).Why keep someone around for a holiday when I know that I won't want to be with them after that day?
Both Men & Women do this...

Is it that bad to be alone on a holiday? FOR ME: YES! Sucks! But, isn't it worse to spend what should be a special time with someone who is not "special?"  Honest thoughts????

I went through a super sad spell with my birthday... and what I realized is that I have not had a partner during any birthday or holiday since I left my husband. I have this amazing amount of love to give and adore making things special for my partner.
There is a gap and it is lonely.

On one hand I have this enormous heart and so much to give & enjoy being able to give that part of myself. On the other hand... I care about the person sitting in front of me and if they are not meant to be with me for a while... it is not fair to either one of us to go through the motions?

I am not desperate or needy. I do however, long for an authentic connection. 

Something real and I won't settle for less... not on Christmas, Valentine's Day or any other day. I don't fake an orgasm either!
I want the real thing :-)

We get stuck when we settle

Where does being selfish fit into dating? Is it okay to date like a maniac after a separation to feed your ego? Is it okay to have someone hang around on a holiday so that you get a present or feel wanted? Are people doing things to make themselves feel better... but, only end up feeling worse? There is no judgment about what other people are doing. However, I am paying attention. I know that sometimes we need to fill a gap. I can only do what is right for me. I have to always feel comfortable with ME.

I don't think that it is wrong to get what you need when you are dating as long as you are up front and honest about your intentions... or lack of. As I wrote yesterday: It's complex. We are all in different stages after a divorce or separation in our journey of being single. 

The question of the holiday loop is always present... but, not always addressed honestly. What do you think?

When dating - 
It's hard enough to know Who or What is authentically showing up... 
That is the Dating Dance - When to stay & When to move on

Kimberly R. Lifestyle by Design is all about creating the life that you want with grace and ease... It's a journey and hopefully we can all find the path that leads to love, happiness and fulfillment in ALL areas of our lives!