The hardest part about dating... the Dating Dance

 Like everything else in life and relationships... Dating is complex! All relationships are complex. Then you add in emotional love, ego, fear, expectation and desire... YIKES! 

When dating - It's hard enough to know Who or What is authentically showing up... That is the Dating Dance.

Once you figure it out, is it a right fit? That's the hard part. How long have you been engaged in the connecting phase and can you part as friends or do you stay because you are connected even though it really isn't a "right fit"

Today is different: A new stage. We are adults. 

It's not the same as a first love or when when we were kids.

Many well meaning friends and family try to give advice... Most have been married for decades, never divorced, a bit judgmental and really don't give relevant or kind advice. 

It's not that easy... If it was, there would be no divorce.

There are so many stages to dating. Dating and divorce has it's mourning process just like after a death of a loved one. People act and move differently through the process depending on their situations. However, there are definitely similarities and things to look out for if you are moving along this path!

My clients are very focused on finding the right place to meet people, how to engage and draw someone in. What are the right words to use and how to create an image that will attract the other person. 

I think everyone should focus on looking beneath the image... first at themselves... and then at each other.  Reality is what settles in and will last past the make-up. Who are you going to wake up next to in a year? Is it going to be who you thought you were with? 

Part of the problem with dating and marriage: We get caught up in the initial image and by the time we see the real person standing in front of us... We are already connected and don't want to be alone or walk away. Familiar is comfortable even if it isn't pleasant. If it's not painful... it may be okay. We may think we can change what we don't like or that it's better than being alone... that's the big one I hear. 

"It's better than being alone."

Let me tell you! Being alone sucks! I mean really alone. Not just the temporarily alone. The conscious choice to be alone instead of settling for less. I won't lie and tell you it's a walk in the park. It's not. I have never felt a deeper pain that true loneliness. But, to me, that pain is worth the payoff. 

I ONLY want amazing. I see it. I know it! I won't settle for less. I didn't do it right the first time because I wasn't aware. I didn't have the tools and techniques. 

I don't want perfect... Just perfect for Me.

The hardest part about dating... 

the Dating Dance - When to stay & When to go.

Daters! What do you really want and what are you willing to do to get it?

Do you stay longer than you should or do you run too soon?

TOMORROW: More on the Dating Dance?

Kimberly R. Lifestyle by Design is all about creating the life that you want with grace and ease... It's a journey and hopefully we can all find the path that leads to love, happiness and fulfillment in ALL areas of our lives!