Food for Thought....
With my background in psychology, my post as Super Connector & Master Networker - - I often work with clients and teach them how to interact & connect with someone that has a different personality style. We all long for community and to connect on a deeper level. Most of us did not learn those skills from our family of origin AND the ease in which we connected as children has left us long ago....
I work with each client to create a safe harbor for exploration & discovery. During that specialized process we explore ways that we show up, see the world and ways that we can shift our personal paradigms to see others in a new light, and connect with more success and ease... Introversion and extroversion is a key element that we tackle. It's life changing when we identify ourselves and can see others without judgement.
This work isn't for everyone. Many don't even know where to start... I have been doing this for over 25 years and every time I tackle something Big... Something else shows itself.
I work closely with women and in community to help others on their journey. They know that I am not perfect, that I have lived a thousand lives, that I will always be me and honest... But, most importantly they know that I am a safe place to land... because I live it and I understand.
Do I need to share this because I am an extrovert that needs to be heard? No. I would be happy as a clam to journal and tuck it away. I share because what I learned in the beginning of this journey, is that when I share it reaches people. People that I may not reach any other way... and people that may not be reached by anyone else. The letters and messages keep me sharing. It's not always fun. I see change. I am of service, because I always want other women's journey to be easier than mine. If I can make one women's journey easier... It's worth it.
Was it easier when I was not connected, didn't see myself clearly or others? Absolutely. I have this internal moral compass that guides me and I just have to keep striving to be the best that I can be. I have to take other people into consideration. With boundaries, I have to acknowledge how I touch the people that I come across... Always conscious.
With the help of a friend...
I shifted and recognized my journey in a new light once again.
Guilt, Fear & Shame
I have been talking about releasing guilt since the beginning of my work: since 1988. My motto that I created to help me move through and release the guilt from childhood has served me well, "Guilt Sucks, Let it Go!"
The next stage of the journey was tackling Fear. Fear is a biggy for most of us. The fight and flight response was a go to for me. I would cut and run at the drop of a hat. It didn't take much. I would stand my ground and fight to the death to defend and protect myself. That usually showed up with words which were sharper than any sword. But, if you disappointed me. I would leave. Learning to stand still is not an easy task... I am standing still.
So... the next stage was shown to me. I love Brene Brown and have been referring her since she released her first Tedx video. I just never got the shame thing. I got guilt. I got fear. I could see how shame manifested in others (funny how that works). I was not able to identify shame in my life. Not that I identified with. I was sure it was there... I just couldn't see it.
(This is how it works. Solve one thing and the next appears.)
When I am told, "You are an extrovert." To me... it means I don't like you, you irritate me and I can only take so much...
When my daughter tells me that she can't be around me & that she doesn't want to deal with me crying or ever hear how I feel-- that it is painful to deal with because she is an introvert...
That has got to be an easier place to live.
When you know yourself and your personality style... You can see others more clearly too. When you see others clearly, there is a deeper understanding of where they are coming from and fewer judgments and misunderstanding. When you frame a person with your personal lens instead of seeing them authentically as they show up... You will never see authentic.