Monday, September 9, 2013

NETWORKING TIP #11 OF 100




What I have figured out is that I don’t think of Networking like anyone else. I am okay with that, there are very few things I do like anyone else. But, the next 100 days of Networking tips were born out of my hope that others could see Networking in a whole new way, too.


TIP #11 Dress to impress. You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression and even though it is possible to change someone’s opinion of you… It may take time and effort. I don’t wear makeup all of the time. I think of it like a uniform. You may not need/wear makeup. What is it that represents your uniform: a tie, a collared shirt with a logo, a suit? It may be something different for everyone. Be neat and tidy – particularly if you are driving around in a vehicle that has your company name or logo on it. You represent your brand 24/7. How are you representing your brand?

Putting on that “uniform” shifts your brain into business and networking mode. It’s a tool too!

Do you spend way too much time and money trying to figure out which Networking Group is for you and how to maneuver in that space once you find one? Do you want age-appropriate groups and can’t find one?

Stop going to events that cost money and deliver no results. My Personal and Professional Networking Programs and Consulting Services will save you time and money. Let me research the groups with the “right fit” for the results you want.


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© 2013 Kimberly Reyes all rights reserved (408) 250-9554

Blog Design: Mirror Mirror on the Wall




One of the biggest mistakes that homeowners make 
when decorating is how they use mirrors....


 People are used to going into staged retail spaces that display home items and furniture and wanting to recreate what they see in those appealing, carefully crafted rooms ... 

The most common place that you will see mirrors placed on those sales floors are above fireplaces, across from dining room tables AND above Sofas...

Here is the trick: that's marketing. Merchandisers want to display the furniture, light fixtures and the accessories in the best way that they can...part of that is what is reflected in the mirror. You see once when you walk by and subconsciously in the mirror. It's like presenting the same item to you twice; reinforcing the desire to buy... it's all the psychology of selling.

Just because it looks good in the showroom doesn't mean that it will look good in your home. There are usually no windows in those spaces, or very few, and items are placed strategically across from mirrors are very often the most expensive merchandise in the store. Things very rarely translate from the showroom to the consumer's home.



Another problem with mirrors in the showroom, 
is that it makes it even harder for consumers to judge 
the size and scale of the 
space and the furniture displayed.... 
Making it more likely to take home furniture that 
doesn't fit properly in your home.










Another common suggestion is to hang mirrors across from windows. That is a perfect solution if your space looks like the Hall of Mirrors in the Palace of Versailles in France - Mirrors used opposite the beautiful windows that ran along the hall... to make it look like there are
windows on both sides of the room....
"Mirror Image".
Great trick! But, Lovely Materials and Space to start with!




There really are only a few tricks that you need to know to properly 
incorporate mirrors into your space...





What is going to be reflected by the mirror?  
Is it something lovely that you want to present twice or to bring/introduce into the room?

When you sit in that room - what is going to be reflected? When you sit on the sofa does the mirror reflect the ceiling or the beautiful trees outside?

When You stand in that space - what is going to be reflected? Move to many positions so that you know how it will look.  An oddly reflected image can affect the feel of the space. It can make it very uncomfortable without really knowing why or without being able to pinpoint the source of the problem.

Is the Mirror Hanging at the Right Height?
When you stand in front of the mirror is it reflecting your image straight on or would it reflect an average height person or does it show the top of your head?




Size & Scale are important... But, if you consider the two questions above... 
You are well ahead of your neighbors and friends!



Designing a life with grace and ease 

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Blog Connect: Mastering Life by Design




Little did I know what would happen when I embarked on this journey. I have been involved in Mastermind groups that really didn't amount to much, except connecting with a few fabulous women to drink wine. We would hash around business issues and searched out solutions from our counterparts... Paid or free groups ---- the same results... Not much productivity or solutions produced...


Not this time...



I met my team like I meet many people... Spotted Joie from across the room and said, "Hey, we need to have a glass of wine together!" ... Pat was assisting me with some business advice, which led to an invitation to connect... and the rest was history. 
Jumped right into the middle of the pool!







Here is what is so Unique about Our 
Mastermind Team and the difference 
that it has made in my life...


We are all SO different from each other: our personalities, the way we process, the way we communicate, how we interpret information and express ourselves, the way we move through life... it is all different. The commonality is our desire to succeed, our ethics, missions, driving force and common goals, our deep commitment to moving women forward and our loyalty and support for each other... 

We started meeting once a month. It moved to twice a month. Then it was twice a month in person and twice a month by google chat. Now it is a daily interaction in two private facebook pages where we pass our ideas and needs to each other throughout the day. 

Just like any other relationship, it has taken work and understanding. You can't have three people that are so different, work together as closely as we do, without conscious work and consessions.

When we first started working together, we would go to a restaurant and take turns going around the table and addressing whatever it was that we needed to talk about. I was all over the place... like normal - never really able to focus on what I wanted or the direction that I needed to go. I had so many interests and ideas... 

Here's Where it all Changed & Started for Me...


One day we sat down and they both looked at me and told me that that session was all about me... And let me tell you that was some tough love. They were honest and a bit harsh at times... but, it was carried out and given with my best interest in mind. I knew that and I kept my ego in tact and I accepted their guidance and help. We sat and they hashed out my dreams, my goals, my desires, what I liked about the things that I was doing and what I didn't. They broke it down and before we left, I had a vision, a good idea of my brand and a direction to head. All me. All unique to me. All suited to me. Me. 

These two women are so smart and so talented.. that I would joke that they kept inviting me back because I was the funny one... Why do we do that to ourselves? I made light of myself to ease the tension. I am super smart! Was it to take away from the fact that I couldn't make a decision and focus on my journey...??? What they have shown me is that isn't my strength.  It doesn't need to be. That isn't my gift. So, they helped with what I wasn't strong at... allowing me to soar and be productive with my talents. 

That's the thing. We have been working so closely, that we know each other well enough, to help the others be fully who we are meant to be. They support me wholly and it is amazing and empowering. They know that some of their strengths are my most challenging weaknesses  They see a gap and they fill it in. They don't watch me struggle or say anything about it. They say, "I'm coming over, set aside two hours" or email me x,y,z and I'll take a look at it. They have gifted me with the absolute present. They see me and allow me to function in my best space, so that I can be the most productive person possible. They have given me permission to take care of myself, to work balance into our working relationship and when it get's super stressful... they know that I need to go for a walk or visit the beach or just be... I am not a task master. I'll do it. But, I don't live there well... I am not my best in that situation. They know that and acknowledged it even when I didn't want to admit it... because that was exposing a weakness. 



They are kind to me. 
They communicate with me the best way that suites my personality. They don't necessarily speak to each other that way. But, they are not me. I watch them hashing issues out with each other in a very intense way... and as they turn to me, I watch the energy shift. They know me and I know them. We are considerate of that. When they are persnickety .. I don't take it personally (usually). I know that they are dealing in a different way than I do. 

It's all out there. I have been stripped and completely vulnerable  As I confessed my deepest fears and weaknesses .. I was slightly amused to see that they were not surprised .. they already knew. We always think that we have everything covered and that people don't know... When they really do. If they are paying attention, they already know.





Don't get me wrong... Sometimes I feel a little battered....


At times it has felt like therapy... But, what an amazing bond that we have developed because we have refused to let the other fall. No matter what the hurdle, we have stood in that space and supported each other through the discomfort so that we could understand one another and assure the success of the team. Once we understood the differences we could embrace and love the whole person; which only made the resolve to see the others success, that more profound, deep and committed. 

To move to such deep professional support, we had to address personalities and communication. We could have walked away and found something more comfortable... But, we would have ended up drinking wine with some non-productive group again. I don't put that effort in for anyone unless I truly want to make the effort to keep someone in my life.

We have respect and admiration. We know each other's strengths and weaknesses. We love each other as people and have become as close as sisters. The magic that has happened in our lives personally and professionally is almost explainable. 

So, it started out to be a traditional Mastermind Group. What has happened is that it has turned out to be so much more... We are Mastering our Lives: Our businesses, Our relationships,  Our journey's... None of it is singular. It can't be.

I have always been told that I am the strongest woman that people have ever met. It has been a breathe of fresh air, with a sigh of relief to be book-ended with women of such strength and character. My counterparts. So different, yet so alike...
absolutely equal with complimentary strengths and weaknesses.
I have waited a lifetime for those relationships.  

Three Powerful, Independent, Successful Women Supporting each other fully in Life, Relationships and Business. 

It doesn't have to be one or the other... We can have it all! It's a beautiful thing and an amazing experience. It is my wish for all women to have a similar opportunity and beautiful Journey.





Joie Gharrity and Patricia Haddock 
you have truly been a gift in my life.



Thank you my friends,

Designing a life with grace and ease 

NETWORKING TIP #9 -100


Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Blog GPS: Rewriting My Script


What is the Script that you have had in your head for years that runs your life and guides your actions? Mine has been one of survival...

I learned at an early age to push away the bad, and to compartmentalize the negative to be able to function on a daily basis. I lived in chaos as a child and needed to be able to leave that behind when I walked out of the door; a complete shift of energy when I entered the outside world. No one would know what I walked away from and would enter again at the end of the day.

My adult life has been all about shifting my paradigms, changing my scripts and releasing the things that did not serve me from my childhood.... Every time I think that I am almost done... Something else shows itself - always a work in progress. Ultimately it's all about the journey: Connecting, Relationships and my personal journey. They all overlap.

With my meltdown ( I always think I am stronger than I am) and my sister ending up in the hospital a major realization about a change in my script has come to light.

The old me would have stayed in my crisis mode and dealt with it fully, until I needed to focus on work and life... I would have pushed through and fully immersed myself in work. The need to survive, because I knew there was no one there to save me, and never reaching out for help. I never asked for help or support because I have had enough reinforcement over the years that it didn't really matter if I asked... People did not show up. So, I put up a wall to protect myself and stopped looking outward for support. Instead only taking care of myself, living fully in the extremes of each part of my compartmentalized life. Never crossing over or balancing... One compartment at a time. Head down and pushing forward. That made me very successful at some things... But, only one at a time: work, relationships, self-care....

The gift of friendship has released me from this script. No longer a pattern that I am trapped in... A gift.

Instead of turning inward with the crisis with my sister... People showed up all around me with support. I didn't need to ask, I am still not so great at that... getting better. But, I didn't need to ask... it was offered whole heartedly. The old me would have felt guilty. It was offered in such an authentic, loving way that there was no guilt. I accepted the love and friendship and acknowledge it as the gift it was....

I am attending to my family... working on my relationship with my daughter... keeping my business going... still connecting with friends... and taking a little time to heal and care for myself. This is a new script for me. A healthier more balanced life. I'm not great at all of it yet. It still needs some work. I would not have been able to sit where I am without the support and love from those around me. Those that let me be me. Love me and give me the room to expand... but, I know will never let me fall.

I had to change to be able to accept their love and support. I had to change to be approachable and I had to take down the walls that once protected me as a child... but, only kept people out as an adult...

Thank you to my friends for standing all the way around me along this path, so that I could grow and achieve all that I am meant to achieve... and never having to look back, because I know that you are standing there too... keeping me from falling. I am no longer surviving. I am Living...



I love you with all of my heart....
Kimberly

My blogs on Thursday and Friday will talk about how I transitioned and who has stood by me. All about my David... The life changing experience being in this Mastermind and what that has done for me personally and professionally... and the friends that don't even realize their imprint on my life... It's a journey for sure and I am grateful....


Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease