Blog Connect: Incorporate Touch Into Your Lifestyle

There is nothing like the touch of another living being. Human touch is 

essential for our mental and emotional health.

We all need touch. 

I am such a huger. I swear that I try to consider people's personal space and I realize that not everyone is comfortable being hugged. I wonder though... does that mean that they don't like it or that it isn't good for them... Hmmmm... I am not sure about this one. Just because something is uncomfortable, it doesn't mean that we don't like it?

 I was going to so many social and networking events that I was just hugging everyone. I didn't realize this until I was giving a pretty important presentation to a client. She was a very proper, traditional, grandmotherly Indian woman. Obviously professional and staid. I made this fabulous presentation. I knew that it was a hit and that she loved it. As we got up to part, instead of shaking her hand like a professional would do... I hugged her. I let go, smiled and turned to leave. As I did, I was rolling my eyes at myself, banging my forehead with my hand in my minds eye, and flogging myself for what I had just done.... It was at that point that I realized I had been hugging a lot of people and that I needed to reign it in a bit... There is obviously a time and place for everything. I laugh at myself more often than not... However, I did get that project and she definitely has a fondness for me; no more hugging though.

I wasn't raised to be a huger. I know the exact moment in my life when I realized the importance of touch. My ex-husband was a submariner in the Navy. He would go away for six months at a time and would often be gone even when he was not out to sea. So, I spent a great deal of time alone during our marriage. I have always been very social, but the connections were different. We moved a lot and I did not have the opportunity to create deep bonds at that time. I lived my life differently then too. The responsibility for the quality of those relationships was mine alone. It's a part of the journey.

Every time my husband was away I would do my thing. I would design something or change something in our home. I was always remodeling and updating. It became a big joke between the two of us. He said that he didn't mind if I changed things... that he just wanted to recognize his home when he returned. 

During one of his deployments, I was remodeling one of our bathrooms. Yes, I did all of the labor myself too. I had already demolished everything, laid the new tile, painted, put in the sink, vanity and lighting... All that was left was to install the new porcelain toilet. Porcelain is Very sharp. Toilets are cumbersome. I knew this. I was tilting the heavy toilet to get it into place and my hand slipped. I dropped the toilet and it broke; leaving a pretty nasty gash in my hand. I bandaged myself up and left the project for a few days.

Once it was healed a little, I took a trip to Home Depot to pick up a toilet. I was in the plumbing department and a worker came up to me. He asked if I needed help and I told him that I was looking for a toilet. He asked if I knew how to set a toilet and I started in on my story and turned my hand over to show him my wound. He looked at me wide eyed and grabbed by hand. At the moment he touched me, I realized that I had not been touched by another human being for months. I stood there astounded at the physical reaction that I had, just by the mere touch of another person. It wasn't sexual. I wasn't attracted to him. It was a warm, all over feeling that was comforting and strangely enough, confirming my existence. Honestly he was lecturing me about the danger of porcelain and how severely injured I could have been... but, all I know was the impact that he had and the feeling that I had when he touched me. 

That is the moment in time when I became a huger. I realized the impact that being touched, after not having physical human contact for a long period time had on me and I started to recognize it in others too. Hugging is more welcoming and open. A true embrace is a vulnerable place; an invitation into your personal space. It has become my nature. I have been a huger ever since.

My friends tell me about not dating for a while and the void regarding intimacy. Not sex. Connection and Connecting. When you hug a friend - linger. Make the hug last just a little longer. It makes a difference. People that operate cash registers talk about how people avoid touching them when they collect money... think twice. What about people with disabilities or maybe someone that just isn't as "pretty" as everyone else? Do people make eye contact or touch them? It's all part of the human experience and you can make a monumental difference in someone else's life... and it will not cost you a penny.

I know that I am more tactile that most. There are different levels of touch and connection. Learning to respect someone's boundaries is important. You have to be comfortable giving, for the receiver to feel comfortable. When it's authentic, it is well received, even by people that are not naturally hugers. Just like everything else. It takes practice. Part of building rapport and learning to make connections with other people socially, and as an extension in business is important. Consider developing this skill. It can be helpful in many areas of life. It's not just a gift to you. It could be a gift to others too.

Here is a link to a lovely story that was

featured on my favorite television show, 

CBS Sunday Morning. 

It's about a man that was a Real Estate Investor by trade. But, he has spent his spare time for the last 25 years cutting the hair of homeless people. It's not just a haircut. 

He massages them, touches them and treats them like a valued human being. It's all about the touch. 

I encourage you to read it and think about the people that you see throughout the day. 

Human touch is a beautiful thing... Hug someone today

I would LOVE to hear your stories too!

That is all part of the journey.

Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease