Blog Connect: A Deep Pool of Possibilities!

Years ago I learned a conceptual way to look at the connections that were in front of me...

Think about your leads or prospects, whether friends or potential business connections, as if they were hanging in and around a pool.

Some people are going to dive right in and jump into the deep end. I have long time friends that I saw across a room and said, "Hey! I need to have a glass of wine with you". We had that glass of wine, many more since then, and have been friends for years..

There are those that wade in slowly. It can take years to truly connect with these people. You may meet them casually, in the same circles... but, never have had the opportunity to build rapport during those meetings. They are still potential connections. The circumstances have to be just right, to have an

authentic connection that results in future contact. Everyone moves at a different pace. They may start by dipping their toe in the water, or they may wander in a little bit at a time. Just because they aren't all the way in at that point, doesn't mean that they will never make it to the middle of your pool.

There are a large number of people that are standing around the perimeter of your pool. Those are the people that you see over and over again. You may have never spoken. There are people who's paths I

cross again and again. They don't offer any kind of connection. That can be for various reasons: I may

just see them from afar, there is little to no familiarity. The person may be an introvert. Circumstances and the environment have to be just right for an introvert to engage. Maybe they are a friend of a friend, neighbor, someone in your community. There may just be a reason that our paths haven't crossed within close enough proximity to make a true connection. However, just the mere fact that there is a recognition that I have seen them before, is a simple form of connection. They can wander into any part of the pool in the future: Potential Connection. Just because they aren't in your pool already doesn't mean that they won't ever be there. Even informal familiarity gives you an in for the future.

People can always be moved from one part of the pool to the other. The trick is to keep connecting and improving the quality of those connections.

Lesson: Be authentic and charming. Always be yourself: your best self. So that when people run across you again, they not only recognize you, but feel more comfortable with you each time you have an encounter. That is a way to shift someone that is sitting on the side or wading in slowly, right into the center of your pool. Sometimes you need to show people consistency and gain their trust before they will jump in.

Lesson: It is often the people that are slow to enter your circle, that are the most loyal and long term connections. It takes time and effort to win their respect and trust. It doesn't go away easily if you are consistent in your character.

Lesson: Don't prejudge anyone that you meet. People are never who you expect them to be. Treat everyone the same and you will find great rewards. They could become a future connection.

Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease 

The Official 

Kimberly R. Lifestyle by Design

Launch Party is Being Planned for September!

Join My Meetup for current information on ALL events

http://www.meetup.com/Spontaneous-Connections-Fun-Events-Activites-for-Women/

For a Partial List of Upcoming Spontaneous Connections VIP Events

 http://kimberlyrlifestylebydesign.blogspot.com/p/up-coming-vip-events.html

You can find me:  Blog/Website,   Pinterest,   Facebook,   Google+,   Meetup

Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease 

Blog Savvy4Less: Back to School Reminder

It is the Best time of year to save on anything related to office and school supplies!

Stores have what they call, Loss Leaders. Those are items that the retailers do not make a profit on. They may even lose money offering these sales. It is to get shoppers in the door.

NOW is the time for back to school items. I use portfolios, glue sticks and other items in my daily business. I stock up on all of these items at this time of year....

Target, Walmart, CVS, Walgreen, Riteaide are the best. Office Depot and Office Max follow closely behind with items priced as low as one Penny. Buy one get one free... 10 cent items... free with purchase and free after rebate: all common sales right now. Check sale flyers online or in the Sunday paper.

Bonus Buys, Deals of the Week, Check out online additional coupons( see something you want onsale, layer discounts with printed and full color manufacturer's coupons, rebates and more! This is the time to save!

Now through the start of school and Michael's will follow up closer to the start date.



Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease 

Blog GPS: Baggage or Damage?

Thinking about the title of this Blog: Relationship GPS.... I think I need more than a GPS for my relationship; at least the love related ones. Seriously, I have a love hate relationship with the GPS in my car... SO, maybe I need more of a road map...

Last Friday I posted a question on Facebook: Okay.,., question of the night... With my background ... Can I only be with someone damaged Or can someone that has grown up with normality love me as I am?????

I have thought a lot about that question over the last four years. I got lovely responses and messages... The point is that I have done so much work on myself and think that I am in a pretty good place. I am not perfect and have issues to work on. I just don't see myself as damaged, like I was earlier in my life.

Now that I am dating someone specific that really loves me, I don't know what normal should look like. I know that we all have baggage and issues. I am not sure how much is too much and if anyone is relatively drama free... I will have to find my personal boundaries. But, I am talking about his baggage: not mine. How much work should I put in?  We are all on our own journey and everyone will be in a difference place. Clearly there is a difference between support and being co-dependent. I am not talking about that.... I am very clear on those boundaries.

I guess now would be a good time if I had a mother, grandmother or female role model... That's not going to happen, so like most things, I try to figure it all out myself and sometimes with my friends.

For me there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Turmoil can't be forever... There also needs to be a willingness to change behaviors or deal with issues. I don't want to ask or try to change anyone... Ugh, that's way too much work and it wouldn't happen anyway... They need to want to do it themselves.  I can be supportive, but I don't want to be pushing, pulling or driving the person to the end....

I have been told that everything takes work. That all relationships take work: the 80% / 20% rule. I am not sure I buy that and I want good more than 80% of the time... I honestly don't think that is too much to ask. Naive? Maybe... Idealistic? Definitely... But, I am okay with that. I think it should feel good and I am not sure how much work is too much and what that looks like.....

What do you think?

POST SCRIPT: 24 hours after writing this post I had a bit of an epiphany .. See Journey within blog post on Friday....Continued there....

Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease 

Blog Design: Bathing by Design

Psychology plays a huge role in design. There is research on just about every imaginable human reaction to environmental stimuli that you can think of.

Design elements will be applied differently in an ocean setting than a wooded area, as well as for showers and baths. An ocean area is usually more open and you can see what is around you. You may feel more comfortable in an open ocean bathing area as opposed to a forested one. A wooded area is more crowded with trees and structures: there can be hidden dangers (real or imagined).

Human behavior is thought to be associated with survival instincts from our ancestors. Therefore, a flight or fight instinct may be evoked when we are sitting and feeling vulnerable. This becomes magnified when you are naked and in a confided vessel like a bathtub. When sitting in a bath, in an open setting, that is not enclosed at all, or have the illusion of being enclosed... we may have an uneasy feeling like we should flee. As a designer, there are many things that we can do to fool the eye or give the impression of a certain feeling or emotion: including security and comfort.

Outdoor showers are not the same. You are standing at attention and if it were necessary, you could flee at will. There is less vulnerability, therefore people feel more comfortable and relaxed taking a shower in the outdoors. Less thoughts and restrictions are necessary. There are always some things that we can do to make the experience more enjoyable. But, it's not as essential.

The thoughts and feelings that I explained are unconscious. It's that feeling you get when you either feel super comfortable in a space or you want to get the heck out of there and have no idea why. When you know the rules and psychology behind them, it's possible to make all of your spaces feel warm, inviting and relaxing.

The following are a few examples of what I have explained:

GOOD

The above picture is pretty good. Great to take a shower in. The bath area would be most comfortable if there was either something above like an awning or lattice type cover OR if the roof is left open, it would be best to have four walls or the feeling of being enclosed. The feeling of safety gives comfort.


BETTER

The roof enclosure makes this a more appealing setting. The trees on the left are dense and far away enough that they feel like a wall and less like something can be hidden behind them. The bath on the right has a solid wall and everything else is far away and open to the environment. The user can see in all directions which makes it comfortable.

BEST

The last picture is the best of all worlds. Think of those forts that you used to create as a child in the living room or under the dining table. It's all based on the same psychological concept. It's an open setting. There is a roof to keep you covered. Soft Material draped over and to the sides, adding texture and layers. Open windows create the illusion of an enclosure: protects you from the environment while letting you feel like you are sitting outside. It is protected, but open. Anyone would feel comfortable and cozy in this bathtub. The ultimate outdoor experience.

*All of the discuss theories can be applied to interior spaces as well. Just think of your open environments and how you will be using your space.

*You may consider these factors as well when booking your favorite spa and spending premium dollars on your dream vacation. You want to have the ultimate experience and the design of the spa just might make or break the trip. How you feel about a space affects your dreams and memories.

Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease 

Blog Journey: Continuing by Design

Part II from Tuesday's GPS Blog Post: Designing the Love I Want


I have taken a lot of heat along the way. Living my life in public and sharing my journey has invited opinions, commentary and criticism. All of those things have actually turned out to be okay with me. I put it out there... Showed my vulnerabilities, held strong in my convictions (which is harder than you think), and continued with my truth.

Coming out on this side, I hope you see the value that it can have for you too! I survived... so far. I am better for it and I am getting what I want. My Lifestyle Design is becoming a reality.

I have really been criticized for having a list and expectations. A friend was so frustrated with me that I refused to just let things happen without expectations, has actually cut off most contact with me. But, the truth is that he lives his life without expectation and is always in flux; never really achieving anything.

People have asked me why I didn't stay with this man or that, how come I dated so much, why my expectations were so high. I have been kidded about being a man eater :-) This is not my truth. I am proud of the fact that I am still friends with all of my boyfriends over the last 4 years except 1. Several would give it another try... They are wonderful men. Just because they were not right for me, does not mean that they aren't perfect for another. I was not mean or too difficult :-)... I just refused to settle for less than I wanted. I was never looking for perfection. I was looking for someone that was willing to offer something amazingly special. I knew that when I met someone that truly wanted and valued me... he would step into that space and he has. If I hadn't of had expectations and standards, I never would have gotten what I wanted and needed. Not from anyone... not even Bob. He didn't just hand it to me on a silver platter. I believed in tomorrow and knew that it would come true.

Judgement comes for many reasons; I believe MOST are originated in concern and care. I choose to believe and will continue to believe that. Most people can only see through their personal filters. If they have had bad experiences... they want to save you from the same. 

My point is that if you truly, deeply believe in your journey and your path, don't let anyone tell you that it isn't valid. Believe in you and others will too. We manifest what we want in life.

I am so looking forward to my next manifestation and setting intentions party!

 Make sure to sign up to the right for updates and invites!
It works!

I invite you to make a list of your 

hearts desires and share at least one here with us!

Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease 

Blog Connect: Take a Chance by Design

I try to go through life making decisions that I won't regret later. 

Part of that is taking chances... Little risks reap big rewards... I don't miss opportunities... I embrace them and if they don't work out, I find the positive and leave the rest behind.

 I don't think it's possible to reach for anything without stepping out of your space. That includes: happiness, joy, love, success, friendships... and more. You can't remain in your circle and expect connections to come to you and enter your space.

Sometimes it's scary to wander out of your comfortable environment. But, imagine all of the wonder that's out there just beyond your reach...

• New Experiences... Maybe you will discover the one thing that feeds your soul.

• New Relationships... Your soul-mate could be sitting just out of reach.

• New Information... You can't know what's out there to learn until it's presented to you. 

• New Business... The Biggest opportunity Awaits! Someone needs just what you are offering.

• New Opportunities.. New opportunities might be around the corner, but you can't see them from there.

• New Collaborations... Others that know your strengths and weaknesses and can identify where to fill in where you need it is an amazing gift!

• New Friendships... People are never who you expect! That is the most beautiful thing of all!

Isn't that exciting? Look at all of the Incredible things that are out there waiting for you! Step outside of your space with me. I am a safe place... Let's do it together! It's a joy to see people blossom. That makes my heart sing!

Make sure to add your email to the right to get Updates and Invites!

What would Motivate you to move out of your safe place? I would love to hear and compare with others. We are all more alike than you think... 

Please share here on the blog.

Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease