Blog Journey: Shift Into Yourself with Gratitude

Shifting my childhood Paradigm took lots of Tools.

Gratitude is a Powerful tool to help you Shift any Paradigm.

One of the Main ways that I learned to Transition into 

Happiness was to Focus on the

Positive and Consciously Practice Gratitude.

Many self-help books out there talk about how to be grateful and it seems to fall a bit short to me. Most tell you to get a journal and note a few things daily that you are grateful for like family, a raise, the kindness of a stranger. It may be a good place to start, but to truly live in gratitude means so much more. I am still working on it; all part of the journey within.

What practicing gratitude means to me...

• When I get good service I am the first to call a manager and compliment the service provider. I go out of my way and take the time to show my gratitude in stores and restaurants. I didn't realize that this wasn't the norm. People are always quick to complain... but, how often do you praise the service that you get? I have worked retail and in the service industry. It is hard work and the pay is low for high output. I appreciate good service!
• I look for the positive in people and situations. Some call me Polyanna. Not so. We can decide how we want to live and what we choose to acknowledge. This is all part of gratitude. When you look for the positive, you are looking for what you are grateful for even in the face of something that is not pleasant. That doesn't diminish the negative... it just doesn't keep you trapped in the dismal. It allows you an escape and is a survival tool.
• There are times that my body gets a noticeable reaction to a stimulus: the feel of the sun on my skin, the feeling in my heart when I see a child smile, the wave of emotion that I feel when I experience good art, the feel when a song sparks something in me... It is in those times that I stop and acknowledge those emotions and intentionally pay attention in the moment. I am grateful is my mantra. There is a psychological connection between having a feeling and repeating an affirmation in your head that cements the experience.
• Ahhh.... there is nothing like the kindness of strangers. A smile on the street can make my day. Someone that takes the time to open a door for me gets a smile and eye contact that conveys my appreciation.
• I give what I get. That is part of how I move through my space. I offer the things to others that I am grateful for in my life. My journey always seems to go full circle. Think to yourself... What does that look like in your life. Some call it Karma.
• The most life changing thing that I shifted to 30 years ago is when a positive thought pops into my head about someone... when it's appropriate and it almost always is... I share my thought with them. This can be uncomfortable for people. It's sad that people are not used to compliments. I too find it difficult to stand in that space sometimes. I am never insincere. I always mean what I say. But, if I think you have beautiful eyes... I will tell you. If I admire an act or something that you have done... I will tell you. I express my gratitude to individuals in the moment. I believe it is a gift that we can give to each other. Truthfully, this does catch people off guard sometimes. Classes on building rapport teach people how to give a sincere compliment. Can you imagine if everyone just functioned that way naturally? I appreciate people. I am grateful for the kindness of others and share my appreciation daily.

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live them.” - John F. Kennedy

These are just some of the daily exercises that I started slowly implementing into my life years ago and they are just second nature now. They have made a huge difference in my life. I hope that you find what works for you and brings you joy daily.

Next weeks post will discuss the things that truly bring you joy...

 Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease 

Blog Connect: The Kindness of a Stranger

When I was 21 years old I was in an incredibly difficult place in my life. I was a single mother of a baby that was less than a year old. My parents had quit talking to me because I had decided to have a child out of wedlock and had refused to marry my high school "sweetheart". Pregnancy was not a reason to marry an abusive boy. I valued myself and wanted more for my baby. Those choices were mine and my parents did not approve. So, I was alone. Young friends were judgmental and not supportive. I was broke. VERY broke. I lived in a teeny tiny place attached to the back of a garage. I drove an old Volvo that I was lucky to have. Juggling bills was an understatement and truth be told. I had no one to call if things went awry. I literally had no one to call. Not to cry to. Not to complain to... and definitely not to ask for any kind of help. You get the picture. 

One day I was driving down the road in West Sacramento when I heard a noise and my car started jiggling. An odd kind of shudder and then my car pulled to the right. It was almost like my car was deciding to stop and park itself right there on the side of the road. I just was aghast. I got out and looked at the car and I had a flat tire. I remember standing there in shock. Thinking who can I call and the tears ran down my face... no one. I didn't have a phone anyway.

Only a few dollars in my wallet and not much more in my bank account. I just stood there looking at my car. I opened the trunk; which was full. Even if I did dig all of that junk out of there, I didn't know how to change a tire. I was sure that the spare lived under all of that stuff... I knew that I could figure it out. I can figure anything out I told myself. I always do.

I looked around for help and people looked right past me. I wasn't the cute young girl anymore that could get attention from my looks. I just had a baby and had gained over 100 pounds. That reality of the shift in energy and how people looked at me was monumental. I was invisible like I had never experienced before. Feeling a bit defeated, I got back in my car and just sat there for what seamed like an eternity. In reality it was probably only a few minutes. I was numb: in shock... overwhelmed. One more thing. Always an obstacle to overcome. Little did I know what strength life would take and how many times I would have to find just one more surge of energy to get up and go and make things happen...

I was in my own little world when I looked up and out of the drivers window. There stood a homeless man. My first thought was that I should be wary, but I wasn't. He motioned to me and told me quietly to open my trunk. I got out of my car and opened the trunk. I stood to the side and we said nothing to each other. He carefully took all of my things out of the trunk and set them on the curb. He took out the tire, jack and went to the side of my car. That man changed my tire... never making eye contact... never saying a word. I stood there in a fog. I did nothing. I said nothing.

He finished changing my tire, put all of my things carefully and neatly back in my trunk and shut it gently. I went inside my car to get the last few dollars that I had and went to hand it to him. He looked me squarely in the eyes and with complete kindness, told me to keep it... that I needed it more than he did. He gave me a slight smile, told me that it wasn't a full sized tire and  I needed to get it replaced as soon as possible to be safe. He turned and walked away. Once I snapped out of my fog, I spent the next couple of weeks checking daily to properly thank him. I never saw him again. I looked and never saw him again.




Some call it Karma... Other's believe in absolute coincidence. I believe that I am surrounded by angels. Spirits that are sent to me to teach me lessons and guide me through my journey. It is up to us whether we pay attention, ignore them or fight it tooth and nail.

I felt complete love, warmth and gratitude deep in my heart from my brief experience with that man. The kind look in his eyes alone touched my soul.


My life has been touched by many people and when I look back... the kindness of strangers have been some of the most important interactions and learning moments in my journey. I think about this a lot and when I am working with people I often emphasize that you never really know the impact that you make on someone else's life. When you connect with another human being, even in a moment, it can make a lasting impression. We add value to each other's lives just by the way we move through our space: it can be negative or it can be positive... Sometimes it can be life changing. You just never know. What kind of connections are you making as you move through life?

Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease 

Blog Savvy4Less: Buying Paint to Create Your Design

 

 

I am going to keep focusing on color and paint.

It's always the easiest way to transform a space for very little money.

Color is complex and picking out paint is harder than people think. I have been working with color for over 30 years and represent 3 of the largest Commercial Paint Companies: picking out colors for homeowners all over the Bay Area and beyond.

 

Here are a few tips to help you save money on your paint purchases:

• Miss tints are part of the industry. Most places that mix paint for customers will sell what they call miss tints. A miss tint is paint that was custom mixed for a customer and for what ever reason the color match did not turn out right. It had to be redone for the customer. The mistake is called a miss tint and sold a dramatic discount. An example would be a gallon of paint that normally sells for $27.00 may sell for $5.00-$7.00. Five gallon buckets may sell for $15.00-$20.00. Inquire at the paint store to see if they sell them. If they do, they will be kept in an out of the way area. The down side is that you will not really be able to get more. So, make sure that you have enough to finish your project at the time of purchase. Miss tints don't really take to color matching well.
• Sign up for email lists ShermanWilliams.com is a good example of a paint retailer that sends out coupons online with a greater discount than my professional trade account. Home Depot offers rebates and sales regularly. Labor Day and three day weekends are big sale weekends for paint at Home Depot. Not all paint retailers have sales.
• If you are planning ahead, I highly recommend painting color samples on your walls before painting the entire room. Unless you are very good with color this will save you time and money and keep you from having to paint more than once. Although paint is an inexpensive fix, it is hard work and time consuming. Plan ahead and paint once.
• Paint retailers like Sherman Williams, Benjamin Moore and Kelley Moore will order paper 8 1/2" X 11" paint samples for you and send them to you in the mail for free. This will save you a lot of money on paint samples if you plan ahead and can wait for them to arrive in the mail. When you get the paper samples, tape them on the wall just like you would apply actual paint on the wall and you will get a good idea what the color will look like in your space. Large Box stores like Home Depot do not offer this service.

Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease 

Sherman Williams Coupon
 

Blog Design: Color Connection - What does your front door say about you?

Color and style are huge factors to take into consideration when deciding on just the right front entry to fit your Style.

The very first thing that people see when they arrive at your home is your front door. Painting the door is a quick and easy way to shift your space. You may want to hire a designer to help you choose just the right color, hire contractors and make sure that everything is done with ease...

Keep in mind that color can set the mood for your guests and tell the visitor lots about the occupants inside...  What do the colors that you choose say about you and your personality?

1. Red - A red front door says that you are bold. You don't mind standing out and you like people to notice you as an individual.

2. White - A crisp white door is for those of you that want a clean, organized appearance. Order makes you happy.

3. Green - If you have a green door you care about your home, neighborhood and community. You are more grounded and traditional. You probably have an overall attendance to your yard and space as a whole...

4. Black - This is a timeless look. You don't go for trends. You are drawn to solid and steady things. Traditional and unwavering. Solid and strong.

5. Blue - You are social and have an easy air about you. People are drawn to you and you are accessible.

6. Yellow - You are a leader if you choose a strong yellow. You are bold with your choices and expect that others will follow suit.

7. Purple - You are comfortable being yourself and expressing yourself. Self confidence is evident and you are a risk taker and dreamer.

 

 Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease 

 

Blog Journey: Dear Mercury Retrograde.. I Am Sending Myself Flowers Today

Dear Mercury Retrograde,

I am sending myself flowers today. I am acknowledging what I am grateful for, sending myself some kindness, love and nurturing Me.

I am only going to consider this latest flurry of incidents as a hiccup in my road to life. I am pushing forward with the strength of good friends and inner determination to be a success.

Hurdles are in place and I am gliding over them as steadily as possible.

Water in hand in this race and I will not stop. I will press forward. I will succeed in love, life and business.

I could list the chaos that has ensued during this phase of Mercury Retrograde. But, I will not give it a voice or importance. It ends in eight days... But, who's counting?

One definite lesson that I have learned on this Journey Within is to listen to my body, my internal voice, and intuition. We often go through life and instinctively know what others need and how to take care of everyone else. Whether it is as a caretaker, parent, lover or friend; I find that I am keenly aware of other people's needs and desires. It took years and countless hours of sitting still and paying attention in the moment, to not only hear, but to listen to my internal environment. I have leaned to recognize what I need to take care of myself. That wasn't easy to do and it is in times like these, that I continue to be tested.

I am often asked why I focus so much on the positive. I admit that life is not all rainbows and lollipops; hello Mercury retrograde. But, I honestly believe that you can take this Journey Within and Design the Lifestyle that you want. Some promote using your anger and negativity to move further in life. I live what I promote and have for the last 30 years. Anyone can shift their paradigms. You can live the life that you want. You can change your thoughts and emotions. If you focus on something hard enough, it can become reality. I focus on success, happiness and fulfillment. So far it's worked out pretty well for me.

When was the last time you sent yourself flowers? Today may need to be the day to start...

Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease 

Blog Design: Living Your Passion by Design

 

It still absolutely amazes me After all these years that I still get so much joy from being an interior designer. There is nothing like having a great client and fun project! It doesn't matter what's going on before the appointment and how I'm feeling when I walk in. When I walk out of the presentation and it's a great design I am elated! It all just feels right… Pure joy.... I'm so grateful that I get to do this every day.

I still think about the day when I was 12, went to mother excited and joyful and expressed my desire to be an interior designer when I grew up... She looked at me with a look of pity and told me that I would never be able to make a living as an interior designer and that I needed to find a less competitive industry... "What about accounting"? she asked me.

I remember how my heart sank as I turned and walked away. I tucked that desire away as I practiced design as a hobby... but, never thought that I could make a living at it. It wasn't until I had two bachelor degrees in different fields that I realized that my "hobby" was far more fun than anything else I was working toward. Did I really want to finish graduate school and endure more statistical analysis... or did I want to play with paint, fabric and be creative all day. It's not really a hard choice when you think of it that way.

It was at that point that I decided to officially be a designer. I have always had clients. I had always made money and worked from referrals while putting myself through school... to do something else. I was doing design for pay before I even graduated from high school. I just never looked at it as a career. I always considered it a hobby.

I am a slow learner... But, it only adds to the joy and gratitude that I feel everyday when I practice what is really deep in my soul. My career is part of who I am. It is intertwined in my personality, thoughts and unconscious interpretations.  

I wish everyone the gift of finding their passion and embarking on that journey. You can create the life you want. You can have your Lifestyle by Design.

Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 

Designing a life with grace and ease 

Blog Connect: The Ultimate Connection by Design

Okay... Kimberlism... This is my life.

Recently I was headed down to the S. Bay on 19th Ave. in San Francisco. The main artery from the freeway to the Golden Gate Bridge... Rush hour traffic. Packed with cars and people were driving crazy... Well, not sure how... but, I rear ended the woman in front of me. (that's the bad part)

We stopped right there in the road. There was no way to pull off the road. We get out of our cars and she looks at me. Looks at our cars and looks at me again... and then REALLY looks at me. She said, "you know this has happened to me before and it really fucking sucked.... This is your lucky day. I am not worried about my car and you just really need a hug"... She hugged me and I looked back at her and told her that Karma was a beautiful thing... She said that she just knew that I needed a hug and she gave me another one.... She looked at me with her kind eyes and spoke with a very caring voice. There were the two of us on this main road with what I am positive were not so happy commuters, that didn't care about our moment of consciousness and kindness... But, we stood there and hugged like there wasn't another soul around. Two crazy connected women right there in the middle of 19th Ave. She wished me a good day and a happy life... and I did the same to her.  

This is my life. There are so many moments likethese and I am so grateful and appreciate every one of them... This is my life....

Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease