Friday, June 6, 2014

When is it SAFE to be a GIVER?




Is it ever safe to be a Giver 
in a world
that seems full of takers and Me's?

Of course! 
I Invite You to
Be yourself & don't give up 
on Community. 

We have all learned lessons, been hurt-- 
had to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off & get right 
back out there and try it again.






It hurts my heart when I hear women say:
  • I don't trust other women anymore.
  • I have withdrawn and run from community because I've been hurt.
  • Women are mean, vindictive, selfish, & backbiting.
  • Men make better friends...

Yes there are people like that out there. The term mean girls didn't show up out of thin air... It shouldn't hold you back from living the fullest life that you can.

Harvard Health reports:
  • Men live a longer, healthier, happier life when they have-- a Wife.
  • Women live a longer, healthier, happier life when they have-- deeper, meaningful friendships and relationships with women.

 Get back out there! 
Create Community & Healthy Relationships 
for 
Health & Happiness!


Be Conscious and Have Boundaries.

It doesn't mean that you give yourself away until your well is depleted.

We can all learn to do it better... 
Hence, one reason that I created the 
A community of Givers that end up Receiving Exponentially.


~GIVERS~
 I encourage you to embrace that beautiful, loving 
quality about yourself!
It's a gift, a strength... not a weakness. It's Lovely!

Boundaries:

1.   Learn to Love Yourself & Acknowledge Your Gifts!
  • When you truly know yourself, acknowledge your gifts and see the positive instead of "tagging" characteristics as flaws or negatives... You can learn to love yourself and take back your personal power. 
  • It's imperative to stand in your personal power to create and consistently adhere to the boundaries that you have created.
2.  It's Okay to Say NO
  • Guilt be gone. My favorite mantra... "Guilt Sucks... Let it Go." Saying this over and over to myself has gotten me through some tough decisions & allowed me to learn to let the guilt go...
  • Give yourself permission to say no. You are a giver. You give all of the time. You do not need to over do it and give yourself away.
  • You have value. You can say no. 
  • When you shift the paradigm and the way that you think about giving, it lifts a huge weight off of your shoulders & When you say Yes... It's a gift... Not a duty or responsibility. 

3.  You need a clear view of the difference between a WE & a ME.
We's are inclusive. They want to collaborate & give to see the other succeed. They don't operate from a place of competition, sabotage or sole success. They are innately Givers.
  • Me's are all about themselves and really only give to GET in return. Some Me's are in transition. Don't isolate yourself. Be aware. Be conscious. Be kind. Don't be vulnerable.


4.  Are you giving to save someone or to see them truly successful? 
  • We need to look at and address Healthy giving.
  • There is a difference. No heavy lifting. Only those that want and are able to rise will. There is no saving anyone. We save ourselves. We can have the support of others... but to truly be saved we have to do the heavy lifting ourselves.

5.  Learn to Ask for what you Want & Need.... then Learn to receive what is being offered.
  • Think about this one. It's important. It's tough. It's beautiful when you get it.
  • Just because you are a giver does not mean that you do not need to receive in return. No one wants to be around a self-sacrificing martyr... It is actually selfish to just give in a community of givers and not allow others to give to you. 
  • If you truly want to be in community with givers - A WE needs you to receive what they are offering to you. It's a gift that they are giving you. They do not want to to receive from you if you are not accepting as well. 
  • Be aware of the difference - A Me doesn't care if you receive. A ME has no problem asking for what they want & need. A self-sacrificing martyr... that is a Giver attracts ME's...
  • Which sounds safer, more fulfilling and productive? 

6.  Give to Yourself First
  • Love Yourself First.
  • It's more than okay to take care of yourself. It is essential! How can you continue to give if your well has run dry?
  • My friend and Strategic Alliance Partner, Patrina Wisdom teaches women all about Sacred Self Care. Patrina invites her clients to take a break from their lives... take time to take care of themselves, while being surrounded by a sacred community of other women, take a moment to breathe... REJUVENATE, RECLAIM AND REVITALIZE your body, mind and spirit in her annual retreats. I invite you to check out her website if you are ready to learn the art of Sacred Self Care.
  • Baby Steps - You can do it. Just take the first step to learning to take care of yourself first.
Being a Giver 
is a Powerful Trait. 
Thank you 
for showing up in the world 
 & 
offering your gifts to others. 

I Honor & Appreciate You!


With Gratitude,
Kimberly Reyes
Pathfinder, Lifestyle Curator, Super Connector,Master Networker, Author & Speaker

Kimberly Reyes Lifestyle by Design

HELPING YOU DESIGN A LIFE CONNECTED TO YOUR TRUE NORTH



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