Thursday, July 18, 2013

Blog Connect: The Kindness of a Stranger



When I was 21 years old I was in an incredibly difficult place in my life. I was a single mother of a baby that was less than a year old. My parents had quit talking to me because I had decided to have a child out of wedlock and had refused to marry my high school "sweetheart". Pregnancy was not a reason to marry an abusive boy. I valued myself and wanted more for my baby. Those choices were mine and my parents did not approve. So, I was alone. Young friends were judgmental and not supportive. I was broke. VERY broke. I lived in a teeny tiny place attached to the back of a garage. I drove an old Volvo that I was lucky to have. Juggling bills was an understatement and truth be told. I had no one to call if things went awry. I literally had no one to call. Not to cry to. Not to complain to... and definitely not to ask for any kind of help. You get the picture. 

One day I was driving down the road in West Sacramento when I heard a noise and my car started jiggling. An odd kind of shudder and then my car pulled to the right. It was almost like my car was deciding to stop and park itself right there on the side of the road. I just was aghast. I got out and looked at the car and I had a flat tire. I remember standing there in shock. Thinking who can I call and the tears ran down my face... no one. I didn't have a phone anyway.

Only a few dollars in my wallet and not much more in my bank account. I just stood there looking at my car. I opened the trunk; which was full. Even if I did dig all of that junk out of there, I didn't know how to change a tire. I was sure that the spare lived under all of that stuff... I knew that I could figure it out. I can figure anything out I told myself. I always do.

I looked around for help and people looked right past me. I wasn't the cute young girl anymore that could get attention from my looks. I just had a baby and had gained over 100 pounds. That reality of the shift in energy and how people looked at me was monumental. I was invisible like I had never experienced before. Feeling a bit defeated, I got back in my car and just sat there for what seamed like an eternity. In reality it was probably only a few minutes. I was numb: in shock... overwhelmed. One more thing. Always an obstacle to overcome. Little did I know what strength life would take and how many times I would have to find just one more surge of energy to get up and go and make things happen...

I was in my own little world when I looked up and out of the drivers window. There stood a homeless man. My first thought was that I should be wary, but I wasn't. He motioned to me and told me quietly to open my trunk. I got out of my car and opened the trunk. I stood to the side and we said nothing to each other. He carefully took all of my things out of the trunk and set them on the curb. He took out the tire, jack and went to the side of my car. That man changed my tire... never making eye contact... never saying a word. I stood there in a fog. I did nothing. I said nothing.

He finished changing my tire, put all of my things carefully and neatly back in my trunk and shut it gently. I went inside my car to get the last few dollars that I had and went to hand it to him. He looked me squarely in the eyes and with complete kindness, told me to keep it... that I needed it more than he did. He gave me a slight smile, told me that it wasn't a full sized tire and  I needed to get it replaced as soon as possible to be safe. He turned and walked away. Once I snapped out of my fog, I spent the next couple of weeks checking daily to properly thank him. I never saw him again. I looked and never saw him again.




Some call it Karma... Other's believe in absolute coincidence. I believe that I am surrounded by angels. Spirits that are sent to me to teach me lessons and guide me through my journey. It is up to us whether we pay attention, ignore them or fight it tooth and nail.

I felt complete love, warmth and gratitude deep in my heart from my brief experience with that man. The kind look in his eyes alone touched my soul.


My life has been touched by many people and when I look back... the kindness of strangers have been some of the most important interactions and learning moments in my journey. I think about this a lot and when I am working with people I often emphasize that you never really know the impact that you make on someone else's life. When you connect with another human being, even in a moment, it can make a lasting impression. We add value to each other's lives just by the way we move through our space: it can be negative or it can be positive... Sometimes it can be life changing. You just never know. What kind of connections are you making as you move through life?

Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease 

5 comments:

  1. This is a beautiful post, Kimberly.

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    1. Thank you Patricia... Sometimes funny, sometimes touching and heart felt but, always part of the journey.

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  2. Kimberly, Your story touches my soul as your words put me right there on the curb next to you; ) It's amazing as we look back and reflect on our journey who we ever got through it... I remember when I was a meter reader years ago and it was pouring down rain that I saw a young woman in her car broke down in the pouring rain. She was crying and scared because she had no phone and it was rush hour traffic. I have no idea how I found the strength to push her car over to the side but I did; ) I let her use my cell phone and waited until help arrived. Your story is such an inspiration; )

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    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story too Lisa! I appreciate your support and I LOVE that you tweeted out my link! <3 Thanks so much and I look forward to connecting more in the future.
      Kimberly

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