It's funny. I pay attention to people. I notice the way in which they move through the world, in a big picture way... over time... behavior patterns and how they treat those around them.
At this point in my life I am truly, deeply, authentically connecting with people - or I am not connecting at all.
I have many, many acquaintances. But the people that I am choosing to surround myself with and give my vulnerable self to are the one's that I have connected with on a deeper level.
On this journey to be authentic and vulnerable... I have learned that I have offered the vulnerable me to too many people. I didn't know. I had never done it before.
I am paying attention and learning as I go.
I am paying attention and learning as I go.
There has been this strange energy with a woman that I know. She asked me to show up. I thought she was a friend. She's not and definitely not a safe place. It's funny. She is the only person that I can identify in many, many, many years that makes me just feel bad about myself. I feel her judgement and since I chose to let her into that vulnerable space,
I have allowed her energy to affect me.
I have allowed her energy to affect me.
We choose. We have a choice who we connect with and who we don't. When I realized what was going on, I shifted my power back. My strength and gifts are many. I gave to her because she had asked for help and offered her support to me. It's part of recognizing the person in front of me and owning my actions. I have observed her fawning over other women leaders that she comes across. Just like she did me... interesting... a conceived position of power that she wants to be next to... but, when you reveal the real you or the not so public persona... she judges and turns on you in a very cold condemning way. It's not authentic.
That is not my journey.
I understand why people have fear surrounding vulnerability. It can be uncomfortable and scary. But, like everything else, a muscle to flex and use, to exercise and develop. I am working through that and trying to
find the boundaries that work for me.
I am finding that the people yelling the loudest about being authentic and standing in their truth... are the one's that truly are not.
I talk about it in my blog, occasionally in public in the context of my journey or blog... But, I don't hold it up like a beacon to guide me or a shield to protect me as I move forward. I live it. I am living it.
I invite you to live it too. It's uncomfortable at first... But, beautiful and fulfilling once you settle in.
Choose who you connect with and Make
those connections count.
The value lies with the Deep
Authentic Connections.
Always with gratitude,
Designing a life with grace and ease
Ouch! I hate when that happens. Women can be tough. I'm still learning to navigate and be okay with thems that 'can', and 'thems' that can't. Ultimately I know that we all yearn for the same thing, acceptance, love, connection (as you said so well), and to be of value. You, Kimberly, are a big, big, She-Spirit! You are Love.
ReplyDeleteLessons learned and moving forward.. Thank you so much for your love and support! You are the BEST!
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