All of this talk about dating over the last 4 1/2 years... the recent experience with the married man has brought up another issue that I should share...
One reason that I was so surprised that this touched my life is that it hadn't touched my life in so many years... I thought it never would again.
I was married to an honorable man for 16 years. He was an officer in the Navy and traveled the world. He was gone for six months at a time and there was never, ever one time that I ever questioned his love for me or his fidelity.
A few months ago I received a letter in the mail from the Catholic church letting me know that they were annulling my 16 year marriage and it was pretty nasty and brutal verbiage. They basically told me that I was nothing and a piece of dirt and that I was not worthy of being married to a Catholic.
I was pretty upset when I got that letter. I thought it rude and disrespectful and didn't validate all that I had given to that marriage. I sat with it for a bit: got a little angry, cried, complained a little.
The fact that I was not Catholic was always an issue in my marriage. He was a staunch Catholic and I supported him... but, did not participate or encourage it.
In the end I sent my ex-husband a letter letting him know that I would not contest the annulment. I expressed to him what a gift that it had been that I lived for 16 years completely secure in the fact that I knew he loved, honored and was loyal to me. I knew he never would have cheated. Never a thought and never an issue. That was a gift to live with that security for so many years.
He gave me that gift. I told him that he could now give that to his new wife and he could marry her in the Catholic church. That was my gift to him....
Every woman should have that feeling of complete security....
I am grateful...
Designing a life with grace and ease
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