Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Blog GPS: I had the proposal that fairy tales are made of...


So much talk all summer long about weddings... I wonder how we get our girls to focus on the marriage and not the wedding... The proposal is now a YouTube event and makes the national news... It's romantic, and I don't think anyone notices and appreciates acts of kindness, large and small, more than I do. BUT..I still don't hear a lot of people talking about the realities of building a strong relationship, and focusing on finding the right partner... Even the mother's seem to be blinded by the bling...and the glitter...

I had the proposal that fairy tales are made of...

Before I share my story, I will preface this by telling you that my favorite things at the time were San Francisco, New York City, The Phantom of the Opera, Art, Theatre, Monet, Travel, Pearls, Dressing Up... ok. I guess I haven't changed much in 20 years...

My boyfriend asked me to go away with friends on a ski weekend in Colorado. It was January and an early birthday present. I didn't ski; hadn't been in years. I didn't own any ski or snow clothes...So, off I I went shopping: shopping done and ready for the snow.

We were to spend a couple days in San Francisco with a friend. I loved San Francisco and was living in Sacramento. We decided to fly to Colorado from SF so that I could spend some time in my favorite city... Our time in SF was lovely. I completely enjoyed it and was all warm and happy when we headed to the airport for our ski trip to Colorado. We left our car with our friend and took a cab to the airport....

Once at the airport we got out and decided to do curb check-in. While standing there, a woman from the airline was going up and down the baggage line and talking to customers. She said, "anyone on the flight to New York City please come to the front of the line. You need to check in immediately." My boyfriend did not look up. He grabbed my hand, told me to follow him, and said to not ask any questions. We both checked-in successfully. He never looked at me and both proceeded in silence... All I could think was... I just bought all of these ski clothes and we weren't going to Colorado???

We boarded the plane, found our seats without even a sideways glance and still sat in silence... Not a word or glance until we were in the air. Once the pilot took off the seat belt sign, he got up and took a box out of his carry on bag... He handed me a wrapped package and looked at me lovingly. I opened it and was astonished. There were tickets to all of my favorite things: Phantom of the Opera on Broadway with prime seats, A full set of Phantom CD's and a CD player, Tickets to the Metropolitan Museum of Art with special admission to a traveling Monet exhibit, a picture of our room at the Ritz Carlton, and various other brochures of things that might interest me... He told me he wanted to make this trip special for me and make my dreams come true.

So, I sat giddy on the plane and listened to my music in bliss... The flight attendants asked us what was going on and gushed over my boyfriend...

Once we landed, he had hired a car to take us to the Ritz Carlton on Central Park. We entered the lovely hotel and were treated with care. As we made our way up to our room he was a bit nervous... He didn't travel well... But, I opened the door to walk into the most amazing, enormous bouquet of my favorite flowers: white long stemmed roses, red tulips and purple irises. The most gorgeous flowers and largest bouquet that I have ever seen. Sitting to the side was an overflowing welcome basket and goodies to share. He had obviously called ahead and made arrangements for my every wish to be attended to... Plush robes were in the bathroom being warmed... He told me, "Honey, it's been a long trip. Why don't you go take a hot shower and wrap in your robe and we will relax a little." I agreed and wandered off to take a shower. It was scrumptious and lovely. I lingered and took my time in there...

As I opened the door from the bathroom to our bedroom, I looked up and saw the most beautiful gown laying across the bed... matching shoes on the floor and jewelry to match... I was in shock... He told me to go ahead and get ready, that we were going out. I dried my hair did my makeup and went to put on my dress... He slid into the shower while I was dressing... As I tried on my gifts... Everything fit like a glove. The dress was Jessica McClintock: long black toole, with a black sweetheart bodice embroidered with white silk ribbon accents... thin spaghetti straps. It was sweet and lovely... Not sexy and a seductress... Sweet... Perfect.  I slid the kitten heel pumps on and they fit perfectly; added my pearl accents and I was in heaven. Completely me...My style... My taste... Me. He walked out of the bathroom in his dinner dress blue uniform. He was an officer in the Navy. Handsome and dapper...

I was having a great time and couldn't resist the urge.. I jumped up on the bed in my long fluffy toole gown and jumped up and down on the bed like a five year old, giggling and laughing... until I couldn't anymore...

We went downstairs for dinner... It was a very upscale restaurant, candles were everywhere and crystal accents sparkled as we wandered farther in ... the host pulled out the table and we slid gently into the booth... People were staring.. We definitely stood out in New York City... I didn't care. I knew at that point that he was going to propose... He was so nervous, I just wanted him to do it so we could have fun... We finished our lovely dinner and caught a cab to the Empire State Building... As we arrived, there was a sign that said that it was closed because the workers were on strike. I was gracious and didn't acknowledge his foiled plan. He told the driver to take us to Central Park... We got out; it was near our hotel. We headed to the park and the horse drawn carriage just outside the park. It was late and dark and I could feel his tension building... He looked at me and asked if I minded if we just headed back to the hotel... I said of course... and we did. As we entered the grand entrance and into the sophisticated lobby, he dropped to his knee and recited the most romantic, poetic proposal. He slid the diamond on my finger that he had chosen just for me. We went to our room and enjoyed champagne, our goodies and the beautiful suite.



The next day and the days that followed were full of all of my favorite things. Art, theatre, great restaurants, music and exploring a fabulous city... It was all about me... He doted on me and made me feel like the most special woman on the planet... Whisked me back to the airport and back home: engaged. 

It was lovely and a gift. I don't want to sound ungrateful... I just wish there was more about the relationship and not just the party...


He worked hard to get me... Not to keep me... It all changed once I said, "I do." No one ever counseled me, warned me or even had me consider to look beneath the surface. I was too young and immature to know better myself. Everyone was wowed by the spectacle. It all changed once I was married. I wish more people made a bigger deal about the marriage, relationship and compatibility of our connection... Thinking back, anyone that knew he and I, would have known that we weren't a good fit... He and I fit just as in sync as when my mother told me that I should be an accountant...

Now I know not to be dazzled by bracelets and cruises... I appreciate them; but I'm not blinded by them. The whole package is key... Not just the presents.

My wish is that some of these girls that are so focused on the party and the experience have a warm comforting voice to guide them along the way... You can have the magic in the engagement, in the wedding and in the marriage... I am positive of that... It just takes the right connection

It was a lovely gift and one more thing that I thank my ex-husband for... He made me feel like a princess that week. I appreciate and am grateful for that experience...  

Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design 
Designing a life with grace and ease 

2 comments:

  1. We are conditioned as little girls to believe in our Prince Charming, we all get swept up with the romantic story book excitement.

    As we get older, we realize that it is the little moments, the simple things that matter--like them unloading the dishwasher for us and kisses on the side of our neck while we're working on the computer--that means so much.

    A powerful post indeed!

    Love,
    Blaze

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  2. Thank you Blaze...

    I get it now that I am older... I hope that we can help these younger girls move through this with grace, ease and awareness... :-)

    It is the little moments that matter the most.

    thanks again,
    Kimberly

    ReplyDelete