Thinking about the title of this Blog: Relationship GPS.... I think I need more than a GPS for my relationship; at least the love related ones. Seriously, I have a love hate relationship with the GPS in my car... SO, maybe I need more of a road map...
Last Friday I posted a question on Facebook: Okay.,., question of the night... With my background ... Can I only be with someone damaged Or can someone that has grown up with normality love me as I am?????
I have thought a lot about that question over the last four years. I got lovely responses and messages... The point is that I have done so much work on myself and think that I am in a pretty good place. I am not perfect and have issues to work on. I just don't see myself as damaged, like I was earlier in my life.
Now that I am dating someone specific that really loves me, I don't know what normal should look like. I know that we all have baggage and issues. I am not sure how much is too much and if anyone is relatively drama free... I will have to find my personal boundaries. But, I am talking about his baggage: not mine. How much work should I put in? We are all on our own journey and everyone will be in a difference place. Clearly there is a difference between support and being co-dependent. I am not talking about that.... I am very clear on those boundaries.
I guess now would be a good time if I had a mother, grandmother or female role model... That's not going to happen, so like most things, I try to figure it all out myself and sometimes with my friends.
For me there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Turmoil can't be forever... There also needs to be a willingness to change behaviors or deal with issues. I don't want to ask or try to change anyone... Ugh, that's way too much work and it wouldn't happen anyway... They need to want to do it themselves. I can be supportive, but I don't want to be pushing, pulling or driving the person to the end....
I have been told that everything takes work. That all relationships take work: the 80% / 20% rule. I am not sure I buy that and I want good more than 80% of the time... I honestly don't think that is too much to ask. Naive? Maybe... Idealistic? Definitely... But, I am okay with that. I think it should feel good and I am not sure how much work is too much and what that looks like.....
What do you think?
POST SCRIPT: 24 hours after writing this post I had a bit of an epiphany .. See Journey within blog post on Friday....Continued there....
Kimberly R Lifestyle by Design
Designing a life with grace and ease
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